I always said, “The first step is acknowledging it. The second step is doing it.” It’s true, right?

First, you have to acknowledge you need to change or you yearn to take a chance, then comes the “doing it” part.

I’m laying here like I always do when this day comes around once a year: my birthday. The 2 things I hope for each year are a cake (even just a slice or a cupcake will do) and cards. Not only is this year a milestone of a number, but it’s also the year I won’t splurge on my mom’s homemade German chocolate cake. Being abroad, though, makes you realize little things matter the most. I already received her card by mail, and I know she will send me a picture saying, “Look what you’re missing!” on her birthday when she makes herself the cake. Honestly, that is almost as fulfilling as shoveling it in my own mouth today.

I’ve struggled to deeply think and creatively write this year. Nothing seems to come out the way I want. I have hundreds of notes that are wanting exposure but just sitting there, a jumble of words, or a potentially great blog post that is just not near complete in my mind. It’s been a weird year mentally, emotionally, and socially. And for not only me, I’m sure. I’m hoping this post breaks the ice of the my stagnant mind, but if not, its purpose stands alone.

I have learned more about my impolite, unkind habits and more about the things I love—those that are meaningful and such a blessing. Some I’ve made plenty of progress with and others have been brushed under the rug for the next time I come across them.

However, one thing has stayed consistent throughout the year. I have acknowledged a lot. I’ve acknowledged rude words that come out of my mouth, awful thoughts that have engulfed my mind, lessons I need to finally learn, tasks I need to complete, hobbies I need to toss to the curb and those that I need to pick up, food that should never enter my mouth and body, soda is still bad for us no matter how heavenly Diet Coke tastes, and passion and purpose can parallel or be total opposites.

I couldn’t tell you when I learned to acknowledge more in my life because acknowledgement has never been my problem.

“Doing it” was the issue. “Doing it” is the issue.

But 2020 started the journey, and in 2021, I’m continuing to work on the second step: “doing it.”

I acknowledged that I never journaled as much as I wanted to. I use a daily Q&A journal that a friend gifted me.

I acknowledged that I wasn’t as active as I needed to be. I do the one thing I hate and turned out to like — run.

I acknowledged that I bring experiences and feelings from the past into my present day life. I become more mindful of these moments in order to live presently.

I acknowledged that my vocabulary is still very poor. I continue to read things I don’t understand to improve my below par vocabulary.

I acknowledged that after years of trying to learn a language, I still don’t know one. I study a little each day.

I acknowledged that I stress a lot. I take a lot of baths to destress.

You get it. Stop acknowledging. Just do it.

On a final note, I know that wherever I am in the world, I am so loved by many people in a myriad of places. And that makes me so so happy.

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